20 November 1918

Wednesday. Nov. 20, 1918

Dear Don,

Oh gosh I haven't had any time to write letters or do anything but here goes. Might as well spill my troubles to you as anyone.

Gee I don't see why things had to turn out the way they have but that's my luck. Damn Biwabik, JE and the whole darn town. Oh if only I had a little money stored up I might do something - a couple thousand dollars, say.

I was just getting along fine - didn’t mind anything just cause I found such a good friend in Edythe. When I got the telegram from Hastings Nebraska I didn't accept just because Edythe felt so about it and I was settled and perfectly content to be with her every minute. I never met anyone like her in my life, so likeable, she wasn't the least bit conceited, tiresome and she always tried and did things to help me. Never had anyone take such an interest in me. She was young, twenty two in Jan. and it never seemed like she was younger that I, in lots of ways. I just never happened to meet a girl just like her before. The Doctor from Duluth said she had the flu and here they said she had tonsillitis. Darn fools - they don't know anything here. It all settled in her legs and poor kid she can't even walk. She has to stay off her feet and they are going to get a wheel chair for her until she gets well. She was just sick when she had to give up and go home. The letters she wrote me from Duluth were pathetic. She has written me every day and today she begged me to come to Fargo and see her. She said she’d mine me to come if I only would. Our schools are closed with the flu but they won't let us stick our noses out of town.

I'm sure Edythe will never come back now and gee this will be a long lonesome Winter but gosh. I guess it was just what was coming to me. You know, Don, between you and me and the gate post I never intended coming back to Biwabik than I’d fly. Then in the spring where I got so blamed reckless - I got scared. All summer long I'd expected to get a letter from Luna or somebody telling me I was way too much speed for that town. Even though I had been straight God I never could have convinced anyone had I been seen by anyone fanning about with S.

Like all damn fools and especially cooped up in this town I was indiscreet. When it comes right down to good or bad, I knew dead well I was good but as Ruth informed me this summer a married man never steps out with a girl other than his wife with any other than bad intentions. I forgot the wife part of it which knowing him as he's known here one can see, for he never had her with him hardly any of the time, hence I kind of fell for him and, I discovered later what he was. I was afraid he'd lie about me so decided I'd come back here in case I wanted to protect myself. Then when he didn’t come back this fall, I wrote you, remember I had a case. Well, it wasn't so much that as it was I was going to prove to him he didn't have any influence on me. I'll never forget as long as I live the feeling that came over me in St Paul when I was on my way back that he was leaving. I’m a fatalist you know and I decided it was just one on me for getting into such a mess. Gosh I wanted to turn every way but to Biwabik. There wasn't one thing I could think of why I wanted to go back but knew I'd made my bed and I could lie.

I will admit there was a fascination about him and I think I was disappointed but I knew I had done right and I was bound I'd come back to this job and show him he’d have no influence on me, then I had that awful fear he might lie about me and it would get out and I'd have the Devil of a time getting another job. Now tho when I look at it maybe he wouldn't have but you know what a guilty conscience will do.

So here I am. And now Edythe is gone and I haven’t an interest in the world here. I hate JE more than poison and I feel I'm a damn fool to work for a man like him. But oh God, what is one going to do - home? My heavens no, try as I might I can't make that go. I simply won't have Dad tell me how much he does for me and this and that. I've come to the conclusion Ruth and I never will hitch. I don't think it's altogether my fault either. I do think Ruth has a lot of good character but Mason City is the only place on Earth I failed to make friends. Ruth never gave me half a chance for I spent most of the time when I might be having fun taking care of her kids while she stepped out. If I did go to a dance, she never made an effort to introduce me if anyone sat next to me.

I really never felt that I could ask any of my friends down either and generally anyone I liked there was always something wrong about them. I couldn't help but feel I could have had fun because this summer when I went to that dance with Elizabeth and Fred being without a van I had lots of fun dancing. First time I'd ever even been introduced to Jack Kohl and he wasn't so bored but I had two dances and Emil R danced with me four times and I wasn't such a wall flower. I've never entertained or done anything to get me in on anything and one can't expect to get in and give nothing. Whenever Ruth had Bridge or luncheon I was sure handy in the kitchen.

I don't see why it is and this summer when I’d say I was going to have Evelyn up or going to have Bid for a few weeks Ruth always has that way of throwing on a wet blanket. She’d come up to the Lake and if Ray & Cee came to Lake then auto riding and I’d happen to be going up to see Evelyn she’d sure make her feeling evident. Oh well I ought not rave on like this but Don its because of a lot of these things I don’t want to go home Christmas. I wouldn't care if I never saw M.C. I’m not one bit happy there and I hate to spend the money. If I go I shall only stay over Christmas, then go to Fargo with Edythe New Years’. I shall certainly not wear my welcome out at home this year.

Of course, school teaching gets on my nerves fierce sometimes but I’ve got to earn my living and its the only way to get any money until Dad would decide to leave me a bit - a hundred years from now.

So here I am and if I can’t nab off something better at Christmas, here I stay but gosh I can’t help buy envy Dorothy Harper, Evelyn or some of those girls who, in a show down, really have a home.

It’s getting so late and I have to get up early tomorrow morning and scare up something for the flu patients so I must get to bed.

I'll be glad when you are mustered out again. Don't worry you ought to get a job somewhere. Why don't you go at to County Agency work. Just get confidence and bluff.

Did you know Rufus House died? Why don't you write me what you did when in M. C.? How is Dad, buggy as ever.

Do write often,

Lots of love, Leone

It sure is a mess of the letter but it's me all over.

P.S. Gosh I sure would like to see Betty and when I think of it sure makes me blue but I guess I'm doomed to roam all over God's country.